Scottish psychiatrist RD Laing said: ‘Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent.’
Which perfect logic proves, in my view, that sex is a bad idea. Not just a bad idea but a TERRIBLE idea. If you have sex you’re pretty much fucked. Because, my lovelies, there’s a pretty big risk that you can get pregnant. It’s recently been proven as scientific fact - they teach it in schools now and everything.
And if you DO get pregnant you give yourself the most horrible dilemma. Either (a) you terminate the pregnancy and get depression because of the guilt and shame, or (b) you keep it and get depression because you’ve had a baby launched into your life.
If what you want more than anything is a baby and you CAN’T get pregnant - you’re fucked, obviously, but (and this is the clever part) if you CAN have that baby you’re heart aches for you’re STILL fucked - see first paragraph option (b).
If you're too old to get pregnant then PLEASE - geriatric sex? Have some fucking dignity...
If you have sex, are of fertile age and don’t want or get a baby you’ll just get fucked over anyway by annoying relatives, friends and acquaintances bleating that: ‘You don’t know what you’re missing!’. You might as well give in and just have one, at least people will be more sympathetic about the fact you want to throw yourself under a train.
No comments:
Post a Comment